A fellow Midtowner, Radooga(n?) and Ukraine-enthusiast, Heather Harris (also known as "HH" or, "Hezzer" in Russian) shared the above photo from one of the orphanage's graduation and dance. Please note that the tallest boy in the middle is named Vanya (we call him "Big Vanya" because there are so many). He will be the subject of my next post and was in my group my first summer in Kharkov. Also please note the girl to his right (your left)- Sasha, who is the girl I spoke of in my original post that calls me "Masha Macaroni". These are just two of this group that are very familiar with our Midtown team.
Graduation is a big deal for these kids and all kids who have to leave the orphanage (usually around age 15-16) because it represents decision time. Most teenagers who graduate from the orphanage will go on to technical school and for some, even college, but almost none will finish. Though their government support continues (the government pays for their school and housing), it is very hard for these kids to stay in school. Why? I will give you three of the reasons.
(1) They have no support. The orphan culture does not stay in school so all the older kids they have known, who have both abused them and been their only family, cannot be found on college or technical school campuses, but instead, the majority are on the streets: living a life of crime, drugs, homelessness, or prostitution. So the kids who go to school often have no social support. Not to mention that children raised in an orphanage are considered second-class citizens by other Ukrainians, which makes it even more difficult to make friends and find support at school or university. When times get tough, they leave school and return to the people, and culture they know.
(2) They have no structure. Children who grow up in the orphanage do not learn to be self-sufficient or to problem-solve in the same way that children who have individual or close-to-individual attention from their parents do. Yes, the orphans learn to fend for themselves but only in a survival sense: through violence or other maladaptive coping skills like drinking or sex. No one teaches the orphans to balance a checkbook, how to handle their own finances, how to study, or how to plan their time. The orphans go from a world of structure and being told where to be and when to a world of independence they have no training for.
(3) They have no motivation. Children who grow up in orphanages are given everything they need to survive: food, water, shelter. But they are not promised love or healthy relationships, and they are not taught self-respect. Quite the opposite: they are taught they cannot earn anything. They are taught that they are only worthy of handouts. Everything is given to the orphans for free. Often when people (very often Americans) come to visit them, they bring "stuff" and leave quickly, never to return. Even when the kids go to technical school or college, they don't have to make passing grades to pass, they just have to SHOW UP. They are kept to a different standard, a LOWER standard. Imagine what that teaches a child if they are given the message that they cannot earn anything (and therefore have nothing of worth to offer) for their entire life.
These are just 3 of the reasons the orphan culture repeats itself in a never-ending cycle. I can only hope that our time with these kids and the relationships we build with them, make a bit of difference. I remember talking to Lena (one of the girls in my group last year) as she was going off to school, and telling her that she can do school and make a career, that I believed in her. I also asked her not to go into prostitution and reminded her that she does not have to. She looked at me surprised and simply replied "I'll try." This is just the tip of the iceberg of understanding what life is like for these kids. From my Vkontakte (Russian facebook) relationship with Lena, she seems to be doing well, but you just don't know. The decisions these kids make after graduation are literally that of life and death. Statistics have shown that merely 1 in 10 of these orphans become functional members of society; the rest are lost to crime, drugs, prostitution, or suicide soon after.
Please pray for this group of graduates as they spend their last summer at camp with us before leaving for technical school or university!
Also, ONLY 2 DAYS LEFT TO DONATE! I, luckily, have raised my support but our team is still $4,596 short so if you, or anyone you know would like to donate to our trip this summer, please donate at the link to the right! And God bless!
